Do I look older? Wait don’t answer that!
What a weird (and terrible) year to start a new decade. I should be on the beach in Mexico with a drink in each hand right now. And guess where I am? Typing this at my dining room table. My birthday trip was canceled, Mexico is closed, and I have been through all the stages of grief. I am finally in the acceptance phase, thanks to lots of encouragement and love from friends and family.
This time last year, I decided to approach my next birthday the way I approach life in general. With a list. Because that’s what I do. Make lists. Sometimes, I write something down on my list that I’ve already done, just so I can mark it off my list. I am just that weird.
My birthday to-do list was about growing, learning, having fun, and reminding myself to enjoy all the moments. Big and small. The end goal was to push me out of my comfort zone a bit. And as I write this, I realize, I probably did not push hard enough.
But the great joy and sense of peace that this birthday is bringing, lets me know that I still have time to move things off that list. Time doesn’t stop at 40. God is not done with me yet, because here I am, talking with you.
What I learned from my list over the past year is that not everything on the list got accomplished and that’s okay. The world is still turning. Some things will have to wait until the global pandemic subsides and some may never get done at all. And that’s okay.
Today is exactly what 2020 had planned for me, and there is not one single thing I would do to change it.
What should have been a beach birthday trip with my husband, turned into a week of presents, time with family, and a day of sun and swimming.
It took me forty years to build this life and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.
I hope to spend the next forty years accepting myself the way God made me, living a life driven by curiosity, and focusing more on what I want and what I know and less on things that don’t matter to me.
I hope the next decade is one for travel, beauty and full of grace, seasoned with a little salt.